I Am a Parent, Her Parent

Having my fourth child recently, on a whim a thought popped into my head.  When did I become a parent? I know, a strange question to ask after having four children.  Though, it was really profound to me.  Nearly ten years ago, I found out I would have my first baby.  Nine years ago, he was placed in my arms.  Amazing, life! A new title, I am a parent.  Though as I have progressed through the years, I have learned that though I was given the new title, it is a title I had to grow into.  It is a title that I have had to learn about and become familiar with.  I have had to have experiences both good and bad. I have had to have joy and sadness in parenthood (and I am sure there is much more to come). Today, after school we came home and the kids began completing their household responsibilities.  I asked them to change the sheets on their beds.  I thought I was clear on where the new sheets were (this was their first time attempting this).  Heading upstairs to read with my daughter, I peaked to see how the change of sheets turned out.  Well, their sheets were on their beds, the same sheets as before.  What I thought was being helpful to my daughter, turned into a complete meltdown.  I thought I would help her re-do her sheet changing.  She did not want the help.  She began to cry (she can tend to do this a lot).  My reaction, many times is to become frustrated, tell her to stop and continue with what we need to do.  I left her room with her crying.  I could hear her.  I returned to her room.  She was sitting on her floor and I knew when I walked in she expected that she was going to be reprimanded for falling apart.  I took her by the arm and brought her by her bed.  I hugged her, let her cry and didn’t tell her to stop.  She might have been in shock.  I was surprised by my own action.  I wanted to hold her like our newborn baby.  But, I couldn’t.  She cried and said she wanted Daddy.  He was sleeping.  She cried again, I want you and Daddy.  Sometimes there is so much going on, so many changes that happen in life that are hard to understand (for them and for us).  At this moment, I could sympathize with her, my Kindergartener that having the support of a parent, parents or loved one is so important and it feels really good.  In this moment, she reminded me, that yes, I am a parent, her parent.

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